Saturday, March 26, 2016

it's been awhile

Good lord, it's been nearly three years since my last post.  As you can imagine, a lot has happened in three years!  I'll start with just the biggies...

We bought our first house!  That's a pretty big one!  We relocated to a new town that we are absolutely loving, have new jobs, and are first time home owners.  It has been an exciting journey and a stressful one, but God has been faithful and we are really enjoying putting down roots in our new town.

I have switched career fields from administration to teaching.  That's another big one I guess.  In order to be in a place financially to buy our first home, I needed to be bringing in some kind of income.  But after having Eden, I was super hesitant to have her in daycare.  So the solution that seemed the most natural was for me to go to daycare with her!  We started off at a daycare in Nashville, and were blessed with the opportunity to find a spot we love in our new town.  So Eden is in the two year old room, and I am teaching toddlers.  A room that I seem to love and hate all at the same time!  Having 10 toddlers in a room can be the most stressful thing in the world, but they are my kids and I love them and wouldn't trade them for anything.  One minute they make me want to pull my hair out and then the next I find myself laughing at their cuteness.

Eden is a big girl now!  She turns three next month and I just can't believe it!  Where has the time gone?  She is super independent... and bossy.  She loves all things Disney and princesses.  She loves to sing and dance and wants to make sure that everyone is paying attention to her while she is doing it.  She is the best thing that has happened to us and we are so in love with her and in awe of who Jesus created her to be! 

Thursday, July 25, 2013

indiana vacation

we just got back from a 5 day vacation to see my family in indiana.  it was a great trip, but had a rough start.  i spent much of friday running around packing and cleaning.  eden had a great nap on friday afternoon that allowed me to get a ton of stuff done.  i woke her up at 8:15pm to do her bath and noticed that she had a pretty raspy cough.  i called the nurse line and they determined that i could wait and take her in first thing in the morning, which meant pushing off our 5am leave time by a few hours.  when we finally got to see the doctor it was determined that she had a lung infection caused by a virus.  we had to do breathing treatments with her every 4 hours, but the doctor seemed to think it was ok to still travel.

we finally got on the road at 11:30am, a mere hour and a half shy of the time we thought we would be arriving at my grandma's house.  we got exactly one hour up the interstate and eden blew out her diaper all over herself and all over her car seat.  seriously?!  after we got that taken care of, we got 2 more hours up the road and had to stop to give eden her breathing treatment.  we pulled into a mcdonald's, found a quiet corner to plug up her machine, and thought we would get in and out in about 15 minutes.  an hour later we were apologizing profusely to the manager, buying diet cokes and cookies because we felt so bad, and packing up our screaming baby.  apparently she did not like the buzzing machine or the mask and screamed bloody murder the whole time we were trying to give her the treatment.  it was horrible!  at one point we had taken a break to calm her down and a sweet girl that worked there came up to me and said she had been through the same thing when her baby was a newborn.  it made me feel a little better knowing that people weren't too harshly judging our parenting skills based on our sick child's behavior.

eden knocked out after her scream fest.
 the second half of the trip turned out to be a lot better.  eden generally slept and kept herself entertained by her blanket and the fan we bought to clip to her car seat.  david and i actually got to talk and some what enjoy ourselves.  we got to my grandma's house pretty late, and all three of us were exhausted so we put eden down right away and went to bed early ourselves. 

the next day was pretty chill.  we decided it would be best to let eden stay in as much of the day as we could.  my mom, grandma, and i were able to take a picture of the four generations of women in our family.  my grandma has one hanging in her hallway that was taken with my great grandmother when i was just a little older than eden is.  when i found out i was pregnant with a girl, i wanted to do an updated one.  i'm so glad we got the chance to get it done. 

and while the picture taking was going on some of the family was setting up a small surprise get together for my grandma's 80th birthday.  it wasn't much, but it was something, and she had no idea that we had planned it.

the next day we loaded up eden and went out to the county fair.  seriously, the fair in my grandma's county is the best!  like literally... it was voted the best county fair in indiana, and let me tell you.. it is wonderful!  i have fond memories of going to the fair with all of my extended family growing up and want that for eden too.  
i just love everything about it.  the sounds, the smells, the bright colors, the kids squealing with glee, the old people reminiscing of the fair way back when.  this was the 163 year of the fair in her county so there is a lot of tradition and a lot of history wrapped up in the event.  

 on tuesday morning we got up early to head back to the fair to watch my youngest cousin show pigs.  if you have never been to a county fair where 4h is big business, than you cannot comprehend how competitive showing pigs can be.  my cousin showed a total of 4 pigs.  he showed two gilts (female pigs) and two barrows (castrated male pigs).  the competition was so fierce leading up to the fair that he actually boarded one of his gilts at a friends farm because he thought it was a champion pig and didn't want his neighbors who were showing also to see his pig ahead of time.  i'm telling you... serious business!  

we made it in time to see him show his last pig during his last year of 4h.  even though we got there late, we had front row seats in the show barn.  and let me tell you, my husband was hilarious!  being a self admitted city boy, he had no idea what was going on.  on top of that, he kept expressing huge concern over bringing eden into the show barn in her stroller.  at one point he leaned in and asked if she was going to get some kind of pig disease!  i assured him she would not catch a pig disease by being in the same room as a pig and i think he felt better when i agreed to just leave her in her stroller instead of sitting her on our laps.  

the rest of the trip was spent hanging out with family and doing a little bit of winter clothes shopping for eden.  on the drive home, we drove through what i affectionately call the 'sci-fi freaky windmill farm'.  this windmill farm is quite literally over 10 miles long and borders the interstate.  usually when we drive through it, it is in the middle of the night and all you can see for miles in either direction are the blinking red lights on the windmills, and headlights bouncing off of the stark white blades.  it looks like something out of war of the worlds and i'm not convinced that it isn't some landing strip for a future alien invasion.  ok, maybe that is taking it a bit too far.  but the thing is unnerving at night and i dread driving through it.  this time, we drove through the windmill farm during the clear skies on a sunny morning.  i was able to take a picture from the car, and it actually makes the windmills look kind of beautiful.

overall the trip was great even with a sick baby and a late start.  it was a great time and super refreshing.  i hope we can go back for christmas!

Monday, July 15, 2013

this and that

in looking back at some of my previous posts i realized that there are a lot of things that i promised to update about that i haven't gotten around to yet.  so here is a brief update on us and a follow up on some old posts...

as you may have read in eden's two month update  the little miss got her two month shots. i had been dreading the day, but felt like if we could get through the er visit at only 6 days old, surely we could get through the shots.  while we were at the appointment eden was so social and kept smiling at everyone that would look at her.  this served to only compound my guilt at what was coming.  the poor girl had no idea.  first we were told she would get an oral vaccine and 3 shots, however; it turns out they were out of the combo shot so instead she got an oral vaccine and 5 shots.  yes, 5 shots!  they did the oral vaccine first which wasn't bad.  i'm sure by the look on eden's face it didn't taste pleasant, but she tolerated it well.  then came the shots in the first leg.  my poor child let out one of those cries that make parents want to cry right along with their children.  you know the one that starts out completely silent until the sound catches up with the face.  after the first leg was done, she calmed a little bit, and then it started all over with the other leg.  i was able to nurse her for a while after the shots and she fell asleep and got her home. 

now this is where being a new parent was our downfall.  the doctor had given us instructions for the dosage for baby tylenol to give to eden.  we got home, realized we didn't have any baby tylenol so i ran out to the store.  i got back to see eden on her play mat looking fairly content and like herself, so i proceeded to put the tylenol in the medicine cabinet, concluding that she must not need it.  she played for a while and got sleepy, so i nursed her, swaddled her up and put her down for a nap.  she slept until her bath time, so i prepped her bath routine stuff and proceeded to wake her up and put her on her changing table.  this is where my night took a turn for the worst.  eden didn't start crying... she started screaming.  the kind of scream where she loses her breath and coughs and gags to find it again.  i immediately knew my mistake.  her little legs were hurting and i didn't give her a starter dose to take the edge of the pain.  i grabbed the tylenol, but she was too frantic for me to give it to her by myself and quite frankly i had never given a baby medicine before and had no idea what i was doing.  so i did what any girl would do... i called my mom!  she promptly came over, showed me how to give eden the medicine, and held and rocked the screaming baby for 20 minutes until the medicine kicked in.  oye!  what a night. 

the other story that i started and promised to update on was quiting my job.  i submitted my letter of resignation stating the reason i was resigning... i wasn't going to accept the pumping conditions the company was offering.  well... they refused to accept my resignation... at least for the reason i stated.  so we went round and round again with what the company was legally required to do and what they were offering.  finally, i let them know that i had been offered and accepted a position where i would be able to take eden to work with me.  i mean what can they say to that?  i now have no need to pump and don't have to leave my baby in a childcare that i quite literally can't afford anyways.  the great part of all of this is that after offering to return for a few weeks until i am on payroll at my new job, they decided it would be best to part ways at that time, and didn't require me to pay back any of my premiums!  hallelujah!  that was seriously the best news and my greatest concern with leaving.  

in more recent news, we just enjoyed a great family weekend with all of my husband's family.  one of his sisters had recently returned from a year long stay in africa, and the other was in town for the weekend.  we had some great events planned including birthday celebrations (mine!), a fish fry, baby shopping, trips to the park, an ear piercing party, games, and thanksgiving in july.  we had a great time and eden did pretty well.   by the end of the weekend she was really fussy.  i think the long days, all of the driving, and over eager big cousins made for a bad combination.  the nice part is we had a great time and we were able to get some nice family pictures.  we also made plans to visit the pumpkin patch and run a 5k as a family this fall!  should be great! 
the ear piercing party at claire's

and last but not least... i seriously need to lose this baby weight!  after seeing myself in pictures from this weekend i am seriously struggling.  i am the heaviest i have been in my life and it is hurtful, frustrating, depressing, and has me anxious. 

i have always struggled with my weight, but in high school managed to get down to a healthy weight and maintain it for the most part until my last year of college.  since then my weight has gone up and down and i haven't been able to reach and stay at where i need to be.  when i got pregnant with ben i was running 5 times a week and eating well and had lost about 15 lbs.  i found out i was pregnant, got hit with morning sickness, and literally ate my way through the first trimester in that pregnancy.  after ben was born i only lost about 7 lbs of the 17 that i gained with him and just 3 months later i was pregnant with eden.  with eden's pregnancy i was still up 11 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight (which wasn't that great to begin with) and put on another 25 lbs.  i had initially lost all but 3 lbs of it, but my eating habits and lack of exercise this summer have resulted in gaining some of that back.

right now i just plain feel stuck and it sucks!  i have tried on several occasions to get into a workout routine and just don't seem to have the will power to stick it out.  i want to be a runner again, but it is hard starting from square one and not being at the level i was formerly.  the family has decided to train for a 5k that is 12 weeks away and i really want to do it.  i want to train and eat clean and lose this weight!  we are going to visit family in indiana this weekend, but when we get back it is totally time to buckle down and get serious!  i need to do this!

Thursday, July 11, 2013

another year

today is my birthday.  another year has come and gone.  life is so much different this year than it was last year.  last year at this time we had just lost ben... this year i am staring at my sleeping almost 3 month old. 

i have a friend whose birthday is just 3 days before mine.  she was telling me the other day that she often gets into a little funk on her birthday because she feels some regret about 'wasting' another year.  she explained that often times her birthday will roll around and she will be in the exact same spot she was last year at that time.  all of the great dreams and goals were left undone, and she doesn't feel like she has accomplished anything of value with her life. 

she said that this year she is making a bucket list of sorts to mark her birthday. since she turned 32 she has created a list of 32 things she would like to accomplish this year.  she is hoping that by writing it down, it will become a little less abstract and a little more solid, and she won't feel like she has wasted another year when she turns 33. 

seeing as how i love a). writing lists and b). setting goals, i have decided to come up with a list of 31 things i would like to accomplish this year.  so far i have only come up with a few... some quite simple (run a 5k) and others doozies (buy a house).  i am going to try to finalize the list this weekend and will be sure to keep you posted, so stay tuned...

Sunday, July 7, 2013

4th of july = long weekend fun!

the 4th of july turned out to be a great long weekend this year!  let me start out by saying i am officially done at my former job and do not have to pay back any of my premiums!!!  hallelujah!  that is how the weekend of the 4th started.  i am so blessed to be back at the ministry.  it is work i enjoy doing and feel like is making a difference in people's lives.  there are co-workers that are my friends and i enjoy being around.  i get to bring eden with me everyday and don't have to leave her in daycare.  and they are super generous with time off, especially for holidays, so i was able to enjoy a long weekend instead of just one day.

unfortunately, it rained the entire weekend which was a bummer.  we had great plans of taking eden to see her first firework show in a neighboring community (nashville's fireworks are entirely too large of an event for us!)  that plan got ruined when my husband couldn't get out of working on wednesday night.  we were however able to enjoy some family time with extended family... eating some fabulous food, watching movies, and playing games.  i seriously love our family get togethers!  and i love even more that eden handled the day very well.  the last couple of times we have gone to visit family, she has been so fussy that no one else got to enjoy her and i was inevitably stuck in another room nursing or trying to settle her down.  this weekend, however, she was a gem!  she let multiple family members hold and play with her, she nursed well away from home and didn't cry or fuss the entire time we were away!
eden in her 4th of july outfit!  very patriotic!

friday it rained again... or should i say still!  we enjoyed a lazy day at home for the most part and just hung out on a rainy day.  saturday was grocery shopping and church, and i am so sad i missed getting a picture of eden in her church dress and cardigan.  she was so adorable! and today david had to work so eden and i hung out and then i got a chance to go to target with my mom and snag up some baby clothes and sale and clearance.  i'm trying to start stocking up on fall/winter clothes which is fun but a little overwhelming since i literally have only a handful of clothes for her past the 3 month size.  i'm trying to buy a little at a time and clearance or consignment as much as possible. 

in other news, we tried making the switch to cloth diapers this weekend.  we spent the majority of the weekend with her in cloth while at home and in disposable when out of the house.  it went good for the most part, accept that her little legs just aren't chunky enough to get a good seal around with the diaper.  finally today i had enough of constantly changing her outfit and washing her blankets because of leaking diapers.  we broke down and bought another box of disposables and will give the cloth another whirl when those are gone. 

all in all it was a great weekend.  the rain actually provided a nice respite of lazy family time which is just what we needed! 

Thursday, June 27, 2013

eden :: two months

two months?!  seriously this summer is going by so fast.  before i know it i will be buying little bowls, spoons, and sippy cups, but for now here is a look at what eden has been up to during this last month.

she has been spending more and more time on her play mat.  she is starting to become more aware of her toys but she still doesn't show interest in them.  she like to have her toes nibbled on and is fasinated when mommy plays peak-a-boo with her.

she has been going to summer camp this month and is officially everyone's favorite camper!  she is becoming so aware of our morning routine that she starts to fuss until we put her in the car seat, and fusses again if we take too long getting in the car.  and once we get to the church she is wide eyed, alert, and cooing away.

she got to celebrate her first father's day with daddy.

she has been rocking some new hair bows.

 she is often wide eyed and alert.  she hates to be held like a baby unless she is sleepy.  she prefers to be held up right so she can look around at everything and everyone.

she is having a hard time with tummy time.  i think she gets frustrated because she can't see what is going on and isn't able to lift her head well from that position, even though she has amazing head control when held upright.

she is smiling all of the time though, even though i am still struggling to get it on camera.  and she is finding her voice and talking up a storm!

we have been doing a little bit of co-sleeping.  she has been such a good sleeper... going down by 9:30pm on most nights and then waking up at about 3am to eat.  after that 3am feeding i have been letting her stay in the bed with me to sleep until she is up for the day at 6:30am.  it is so amazing to have that cuddle time with her and to see her sleepy "wake up" face every morning.

she got her 2 month check up and is now 12 lbs 1 ounce and 23 1/4 inches long.  the 2 month appointment also brought her first set of shots, which was an ordeal, and she had a rough post shot afternoon (more to come on that in a future post). 

she is still completely the love of my life and i am totally smitten by her!  yes, you heard me, i am in deep smit!

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

i quit my job today

today i quit my job.  terrifying?  yes.  totally freeing?  absolutely!  i don't think there is any doubt with anyone that has known me for longer than 2 weeks that i really, really disliked my job and my co-workers.  i have been looking for opportunity to quit basically since i started there, and it finally came.

over the last 2 days, i have had numerous conversations with the hr representative about my return to work on the 1st and my need for the time and space to pump.  after many phone calls back and forth, it was determined that there was absolutely nowhere for me to pump other than the bathroom, which according to federal law is technically illegal.  however, the company kept insisting that they just did not have any other space available and would make "modifications" to the bathroom to suit my needs.  at the end of the day, the bathroom is still the bathroom and i have no desire to express my baby's meals while someone relieves themselves next to me.  so i quit my job today.

now we wait to see if they will try to require me to pay back my insurance premiums!  stay tuned....